The meaning of life… ages and states of mind

How old

Too Young To Care?

Lately I’m finding the nature of service (particularly in cafes and restaurants) is more important to me than it used to be and therefore, I do not like being served by trendy youths who seem so wrapped up in themselves and their image that all they can see when they look at you is ‘old’ and therefore, not worthy of their interest beyond taking your order and moving on. I find it rude. I find it dismissive.

The fact is that, whilst I would never have described myself as ‘trendy’ as a youth, when I was younger I was more timid than I am now. I shied away from random conversations with strangers and never felt confident enough to engage with people I didn’t know in the day to day course of my life. My mum always used to say that she had evolved from someone who wouldn’t say boo to a goose, into a much more outspoken person in middle age – not afraid to complain or question bad service and less concerned about being ‘liked’ or judged so not scared to initiate a conversation with someone who might reject the attention.

Perhaps this is just the nature of youth but I wish that employers taking on very young people in the service industry would provide a little bit of training which involved demonstrating how to effectively engage with people. It does make a difference and have a knock-on effect because I’m sure I’m not alone in saying that I would be much more likely to become a repeat visitor somewhere where I know the staff are friendly and take an interest (however minimal) in my life. It is also a fantastic skill for life, putting people on side in any number of situations and just generally spreading a bit of good karma in the world.

42 Not Out

Continuing on the theme of age and ageing, I’ve been pondering for a while on the benefits of being 42. (Level 42: the meaning of life!) The fact of the matter is that I don’t feel like a ‘middle-aged’ woman. And I don’t think I look like a middle aged woman either (although admittedly no-ones going to come running to check my id next time I roll up at the checkout with a nice bottle of Merlot). At the same time I’m not trying to be ‘down with the kids’ – I won’t be purchasing a 1D track any time soon although equally I’m not obsessed with the 80s classics. On the other hand I’m not averse to a bit of charting music – Avicii, Biffy – I’d rather be listening to Radio 1 than Radio 2 although still feel like admitting this attaches a kind of shame akin to, for example, being seen trawling the aisles of Miss Selfridge… It’s a bit like being caught between two worlds. Even more so with two little children to care for. Whilst people I went to school with are talking about their children’s secondary school admissions, I’m just getting my head round Reception class infants. Talk about late starter! But at the same time this also gives me the perception of someone ten years younger.

Just the other day I was reading another parent blog by a young woman in her twenties who has a baby under the age of one. She was describing a somewhat harried night out with her partner – their first since the baby was born. She gave some detail of the experience and in the process mentioned looking around at other couples in the restaurant they were in and noticing a couple who looked ten years older than them accompanied by a child of about 7. She described them as ‘trying to act our age’. This is a nonsense to me. The only difference between 28 and 38 can be measured in terms of knowledge and experience gained. What you like to watch, eat, listen to, do with your spare time – none of these things are defined by age although sometimes people let themselves be moulded by these stereotypes, playing out society’s expectations for fear of being labelled.  Well I say stuff labelling! Lets just start being true to ourselves!

5 thoughts on “The meaning of life… ages and states of mind

  1. Yay! Hear hear to everything you have written!

    Age means nothing and we shouldn’t restrict what we do due to the perceived opinions of others. There are too many other restrictions imposed on us by life itself.
    As always, it’s so sad that people do this, the world over 😦 The more experiences we can have, the more we can share and everyone can have more fun.

    • Thanks for commenting Denise! Glad I’m not alone in thinking this – I know I feel a bit like a 25 year old but with lots more confidence, less fear, more experiences under my belt, although sadly not much more money! I only want to look and behave like me – not like someone of any given age.

      • Well I think we are all such complex people when we come down to it, it’s silly to categorise. Like you’re a mother, but also a poet, and also a person who is developing and aware of her developments. And all of those things are complex things just in themselves. And being complex and interesting is what makes your blog good to read.

  2. Lovely stuff. I think your age really only signifies the years that you have been alive and what makes you who you are, are your experiences in life. I would love to know the blog that you were reading. I bet you any money being the age you are gives you and your family so much more of a quality experience than you might have been able to offer 10, 15 or 20 years ago. x

    • Hi Cleopatra – hopefully you are right about us having a more quality experience! The blog I was reading was tealadymumbles – she seems like a nice person but she is so wrapped up in these attitudes to age imposed by society. I don’t know if even she knew what she meant by “trying to act our age”! X

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