The Empty Days…

It hasn’t happened that much recently but there are times when I find myself alone with my children – I mean completely alone, no hope of a play date or a even a family member to help out for an hour or two. There will be stay at home mums out there laughing their proverbial arses off reading this I’m sure – what self respecting parent would find one day alone with her own kids so challenging?

I could give lots of reasons: they are two and (just about to turn) five; they are boisterous boys; the eldest is highly strung (two small dogs attempted to “enthusiastically greet” him in the park yesterday and he almost jumped up onto my shoulders whilst screaming hysterically!); the youngest has a habit of throwing things… the list could go on, but actually, maybe I’m just not good enough as a mum – not enough planning and organisation when it comes to getting out the craft materials; sometimes to be seen engrossed in the social media whilst they start fights with other small children over plastic spinners at playgrounds (I blame the new iPhone); giving in too easily to the demands…

So I’m being completely honest here – long days on my own with the pair of them (the hubster being a shift worker) do occasionally fill me with dread.

Having said that our day yesterday was filled with ordinary moments that make it ok. I took them down to the local playground on their scooters and enjoyed watching EJ define his own scootery style (bottom stuck out, right leg pushing and then drawn right up, hovering as the momentum carries him forwards). They had their obligatory ice lollies and happily played for some time (EJ insisting that I “sit down” instead of hovering around him at the top of the slide). Then we went home and put EJ down for his nap before heading off to their favourite soft play later where I ordered them some ‘healthy’ food – some of which actually got eaten!
They had a ball playing hide and seek in there with some older kids whilst I learnt how to download a book on my iPhone.

Bedtime was trickier with an almighty meltdown after JJ dumped a big towel in the bath with his brother – cue two over tired, naked children running, screaming and, in one case, weeing on the carpet. *sigh*. At least it all ended in a group cuddle on my bed, a child under each arm allowing their mummy to soothe and comfort them, stroke their fluffy heads and tell them how much I still love them despite their, frankly, deranged behaviour…

This was just an ordinary, unplanned day full of little challenges, but also full of love and laughter and cuddles and despite being left completely frazzled and wine o’clock coming far too late, I know these days will be over in the blink of an eye so I’ll focus on the fun, funny, silly, ordinary, yet extraordinary moments and the overwhelming love I feel for my two cheeky monkeys.

Linking up to The Ordinary Moments over on Mummy Daddy and Me Makes Three.

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18 thoughts on “The Empty Days…

  1. Long days with no plans can seem so daunting can’t they? I totally understand. Glad your hard bedtime ended with cuddles though, that’s the best. And, you’re right, these days will pass quick – we should focus on the moments of love. Gorgeous post x

    • They always seem incredibly daunting Kiran! My heart always sinks when I know my mum and dad are busy on a weekend when the hubster is working. But in the end I’ll only remember the good bits (hopefully! 🙂 ) X

  2. This sounds like a really good day (apart from the weeing on the carpet bit haha!) I totally get the daunting feeling a full unplanned day!! It can feel really intimidating and the day can feel never ending!! I’m glad you got out and the boys had lots of fun!! Xx

  3. It’s hard when they have slightly off kilter personality traits, isn’t it? Like being highly strung (or just not liking other people, like mine.) In some ways it’s easier with girls when they are younger – quite happy to go and do “pretending” play together for a while, or do some colouring, or make something quietly.

    I do think the summer holiday is a long stretch when they are young, boys or girls, to keep occupied. I’d prefer a system with longer holidays more spread out – because they do get tired throughout the school year.

    • A highly strung child is just hard work whatever way you look at it! We had a day out at Alice Holt Forest with some of my work colleagues and their children not long ago and while we were deep in the woods exploring all the play structures a thunder storm began and JJ absolutely freaked out and made me carry him back to the car whilst my poor friend had to carry EJ all the way up this massive hill all the while JJ shrieking and freaking! The other kids were totally un fazed. *sigh* And yes, I do kinda envy the girl thing. The closest my boys get to imaginative play is pushing trains round a track and stopping at a level crossing for lorry to cross. We haven’t really had the full summer holiday experience yet but it has been really noticeable these last two years with JJ ‘broken up’ from pre-school (2.5 days a week) – having the two boys together at this age is physically and emotionally demanding, and at the same time can be boring and a little lonely. Maybe next year it will be easier? … X

  4. Oh god, never feel bad about finding a day totally alone with the kids challenging, I completely empathise, and I’m a WAHM so with mine pretty much 24/7! It’s bloody hard, especially when you have more than one. Mine are 2 and 3 and a lot of my time is spent fire-fighting and saving each other from killing one other! The best days are when I plan to go out for half the day, and then spend some time in ‘doing something’ with them. Then I don’t feel bad bunging the telly on for a while and getting on with my own thing! #ordinarymoments

    • I’m never quite sure how anyone can be a WAHM – especially with two toddlers!! How do you get anything done?? 🙂 You’re right – there has to be at least one chunk of planned time otherwise it just all feels a bit of a messy, badly dreamed up enterprise. X

  5. Thanks for being so honest in this post Sam. I completely agree with you, our mornings are so full, not with anything particularly exciting, but with two days taken up by nursery so I can work, one seeing one set of friends, one seeing another and one seeing my mum, and our afternoons are taken up with naps at the moment. We rarely have time just the three of us, and when we do occasionally some times it can be absolutely amazing and I love every minute and sometimes they can just be ‘hard work’. Because lets face it, it is hard work. There are days where I find it really challenging and I know that I am not giving them my all, too busy doing the housework or looking at social media. We are all human, it doesn’t mean your are a bad mum. x

    • I’m so jeal that your 3.5 year old still naps!! My eldest gave up his naps at 2.5, six months before his brother was born. Having said that I used to find it really constricting having to be home at a specific time each day for his nap – it made day trips a bit of an issue so I guess it’s swings and roundabouts. Nowadays he’s happy to watch some of his fave programmes on my tablet while his brother sleeps so it’s still rest time in that respect. Thanks for the kind words and the chance to express myself! Xx

  6. I find it sooo much easier when we have something planned for each day. Quite frankly he gets bored of my face if he’s home with me all day 😉 If nothing else we at least go for a walk down the river and grab a sausage roll from the bakery and coffee on the way!

    • Yes – that planned activity can be a lifeline sometimes! Even when I just had one I found it very stressful to be in the house with him for any length of time – he is just so highly strung and demanding and I need the outside distractions for both of us. X

  7. Keeping busy helps! Baby has slightly deranged behaviour too and can be a real handful. We have no local family or childcare so it is always Baby and I (if hubby at work). I am glad you had lovely snuggles x #OrdinaryMoments

  8. Umm as a SAHM with only one kiddy I think it is perfectly understandable why you felt so daunted by an entire day with two of them!! Sounds like you coped bloody well to me lovely 🙂 xx

    • Motherhood *is* really bloody difficult some days isn’t it? 🙂 Glad I can voice what is in the minds of others too. I think we all fail as much as we succeed but it’s all part of life’s rich tapestry at the end of the day I guess! X

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