Flat pack!

A few weeks ago the hubster suggested that it was probably time to move the boys out of their little beds (JJ’s toddler bed and EJ’s cot respectively) and straight into a full sized bunk bed. Because they share a room (and the fact that the toddler bed was already a bit broken) and the fact that there are space restrictions, it wasn’t going to be possible to transition EJ gently up to the next stage the same way as his brother had.

Despite the fact that all the official guidance says bunk beds aren’t suitable for children under six and ours are five and two (!) we knew that JJ would be fine on the top as he regularly sleeps on the top bunk at my parent’s house. We figured EJ would be OK on the bottom with JJ’s old bed guard on the side.

So, off we went to Dreams and put in our order for a Colarado! I said to the hubster at the time – do Dreams offer a Flat Pack building service similar to the option provided by Ikea? Unfortunately this is not the case. I’m sure their are handyman or independent businesses out there who probably do this but the hubster is not one for ‘unnecessary’ expense and refused to look into that option despite knowing full well from previous experience that he is not the world’s most laid back person when it comes to the Krypton Factor of flat pack! Hello, I thought, little marriage ‘make or break’ experience coming up right here.

So last Thursday the boxes were delivered and yesterday was our first day at home with both children out. D Day (or should I say FP Day?) Little did I realise when I got up with the children at 7.20 that it was going to be the start of a very, very long day!
After I’d dropped JJ off at school, EJ off at the childminder’s and picked up my shop from Tesco and both brought it home and put it all away the hubster appeared nonchalantly, had an unrushed breakfast and we even planned to go for a nice lunch at one of our favourite local canalside pubs. At some point sense kicked in and I suggested we make a start on the beds at about elevenish. We got the boxes open and after a brief panic about lack of instructions and fittings we discovered them at the bottom of the last box.The first thing I read was the suggested construction time: 2 and a half hours with two people. This seemed like a ridiculously long time – little did we know!

After a lot of fixing and fiddling and staring blankly at the instruction booklet we had managed to put the ladder together and one long joint into one of the beds and I looked at the clock: 12.35. The hubster said “you can forget about lunch”. True that, I thought as suddenly JJ’s 3.10 school pick up hove into view.

Around about 1.30 we had reached the point where the majority of the beds were together but we had done the whole thing using the Allen key provided as, despite owning a power drill, the hubster has managed to somehow lose it’s charger so comprehensively that even the previous evening’s house and shed overhaul had not turned up the slightest clue (although it had, to be fair, left me with some rather delightful clear surfaces in a kitchen which the hubster tends to see more as a place to dump random stuff – defunct batteries anyone? Broken sunglasses? 700 water bottles of varying age and size?). Unfortunately the next task involved drilling about forty screws in to fit the slats on each of the two beds and the hubster took one look at that task and shouted “I’m not bloody doing this without a power drill!”. That’s when the panic set in: JJ’s school pick up looming, no chance of finding that ruddy elusive charger, both starving hungry, bits of packing, cardboard, polystyrene, the old beds and mattresses cluttering up the hallway – none of this boded well! Oh, and let’s not forget that we hadn’t bought any bedding yet. I made a mercy dash to our next door neighbours’ but there was no reply. Next stop Homebase. We were pleasantly surprised by the relative affordability of a power drill but not so thrilled with the three and a half hour charge time. Nevertheless we speeded it home stuck it on to charge and then gave in to the situation and moseyed over to Tesco in search of duvets and sustenance.

To cut a long story short the beds were not finished by the time both boys were home. I took JJ to Argos for bed covers (which made us late for picking up EJ but that’s by the by) and when we arrived home I was dismayed to find that, despite all the slats being in, there was still packaging and bits of old bed everywhere, we still had to get the two beds mounted together, the side rails and ladder fitted to the top, the old bed guard adjusted to fit a bigger bed, and all the bedding on and the hubster had his feet up reading an email from What Car magazine by all accounts. Now imagine two exhausted adults, a tired and excited toddler who was like a kid in a candy store when he saw the amount of odd screws, lumps of wood and random scissors scattered across his bedroom floor!

Eventually, after much shouting, screaming, crying, hugging (and that was just me!) the job was finally, after nigh on six hours, done.
Et voila:

New bunkbeds!

And, by the way, despite my misgivings about the insanity that might ensue after lights out, both children went out like a happy little light and slept like logs (watch this space for the EJ top bunk climbing saga which will no doubt follow in the coming days!).