I’ve just discovered what’s known as a ‘linky’ thing through another website called Podcast
Its called What’s the Story and its an open invite to choose a picture which means something special to you and tell the tale behind the image.
This one dates back to Christmas 2010. It makes me laugh and it reminds me of an answer I gave in one of my NCT ante-natal sessions. Our leader went round the circle asking what it was we were most looking forward to about having a baby. I can’t really remember what everyone else said but I’m fairly sure they were really focussed on the whole ‘baby’ thing. At the time I had been with my partner for about three years and got to know his daughter from a previous relationship. She was only two when we got together and I think spending time with her flicked the switch on my biological clock. The time I did and didn’t spend with her also left me feeling somewhat impotent. Anyone who has ever had a relationship with a partner’s child must know how it feels when you develop a love for them and a feeling of protectiveness and closeness (she once called me her best friend – I think we were going through the checkout at Tescos at the time), but you are also kept from them at the most important moments – the special occasions in a little child’s life: sports days, nativity plays, easter parades. This was the thought that struck me when I realised what it was I was most looking forward to – motherhood as THE special person in that gorgeous little person’s life – the one who gets to make all those important decisions and be there at all those fun events.
The picture above clearly shows that, special or not, it was also a bit traumatic for poor JJ! Last year’s pre-school Christmas extravaganza was no better – he was the only child to spot mummy in the front row and break down in tears, later leaving the stage early for a reassuring cuddle. The fact that there is someone in the world who would always turn to me first for that cuddle is probably one of the most special parts of motherhood.