Ten random things I have discovered in the past week:

  1. It is possible to climb in through a (first floor) kitchen window, over a kitchen sink, in a white skirt and let yourself back in the house relatively unscathed if your front door blows shut locking you and the children out in the street.
  2. A marshmallow, some silly dancing and lots of inane chattering should suffice to entertain a one-year-old for long enough to cook an omelette.
  3. Taking two three-year-olds and two one-year-olds to softplay on a rainy afternoon in the summer holidays is NOT the answer.
  4. Middlesex is not a country (I misread the passport form). I’m not sure its even a county come to that…
  5. Driving in cork wedges could* be considered unsafe.
  6. By-pass the formalities, give your one-year-old’s birthday presents straight to your three-year-old – he’ll be the one playing with them.
  7. When you have four clocks all telling you different times, plus two small children, always assume you are running late.
  8. When delivering a Jumperoo to a police headquarters always make sure the recipient remembers you are coming. Getting picked up on CCTV outside an automatic barrier fiddling with a ‘device’ (aka mobile phone) could leave you with some explaining to do.
  9. Feeling a bit miffed about someone else’s gloating Facebook post on their amazing holiday? Logging into Trip Advisor and sourcing only average to poor comments on their resort will make you feel 100 times better! 🙂
  10. For all those in the late stages of pregnancy – a placenta smoothie comes highly recommended!
  11. Bonus discovery! –  if you write up a post on ‘random’ stuff you generate the most bizarre list of ‘related content’ – everything from ‘New Jersey Drug Addiction’ (sorry I’m completely lost now) to ’62 year old Boston priest caught with prostitute behind cemetary’ – awesome!!

* Not in my case of course – I’m an excellent driver 😉

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